I Would Never Fuck You
From the Archives
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Drama, Short Films, 04-Mar-2026
Ira prepares to confront an unrequited crush by practicing with miniature figurines. Mika Lungulov-Klotz and Alanna Murray direct “I Would Never Fuck You,” a poignant account of tricky romantic pursuits, which stars an ensemble of older gentleman cast as young women. Ira tinkers with handmade figurines at her work bench. She anxiously prepares for the evening outing to tell Shannon, her crush, how she really feels. Morgan, Ira’s roommate, begrudgingly agrees to join and the two get dolled up. At the bar, Shannon casually makes a move, and Ira decides to go for it. Low-key yet highly imaginative, Murray and Lungulov-Klotz offer a fresh perspective on contemporary yearning. -JM. Director: Mika Lungulov-Klotz & Alanna Murray, DP: Grace Pendleton, Cast: Neil Fleischer, Jeffrey Grover, Ben Groh, Ralph Feliciello, John Brattin, Producers: Mika Lungulov & Alanna Murray, Co Producers: Hannah Schulman & Enzo Flores.
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